WHAT IS LONELINESS?

This is definetly cheaper than therapy, i am convinced! Have we ever stopped and really thought about what Loneliness is? What makes us lonely. Have you noticed the word ONE is in lONEly..hm. Coincidence? However mONEy also has the word ONE in it. Hm. So ultimately Money and Loneliness leaves us with ONE. Ourselves...oh sigh! That could be good and bad.

So. What makes us lonely. Well, being without others I assume. However, if you are content with yourself then i would think loneliness seldoms rears it's ugly head. Although i find at times having people (friends) in my life I still am stricken with the big "L" word. There is a feeling of emptiness...a longing to be needed, to be loved, to be comforted, to be important in someone's life. To matter, to be the ONE in their life/lives.

Different scenarios bring up this ugly creature. When you are sick. I know when i feel sick ultimately i want my mom. That nurturing person to hold me and let me be a kid again. Allow me to not worry about the responsibilities i have as an adult, to release all burdens and just be held. So Mom isn't around and i reach for my best friend. Who has his own life. Who is meeting deadlines and doesn't easily stomach the weak, the whining. I wish he could understand i don't want to be strong and i want to cry. And i want him to be the one to hold me and let me do so. I get tired sometimes. And it is no ones problem but mine. But without judging without evil words just hold me in silence. Touch my head, squeeze my hand and let me release everything that is bringing me down. Maybe it's the feeling of being safe as we did when we would go to bed at night knowing mom and dad were a few bedrooms away. That although they were not comic book heroes and couldn't stop a bullet we just always new we were safe.

Now i'm a mom and i'm not to feel those feelings of long ago? I sit in a house that stares coldly back at me. I am surrounded by furry friends that lack harmony and a daughter who stays behind a closed door and then comes out to say goodnight.

i will finish this later....